Love Languages May Allow You to Understand Your Partner– Yet it’s Not Exactly Science

If you’ve ever perused a women’s lifestyle magazine or scrolled through social media, you’ve likely come across a test that promises to reveal your “love language.”

This concept originated from Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, The Five Love Languages, where he observed that couples often misunderstood each other’s needs.

To address this, Chapman proposed the five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Your primary love language is the way you prefer to express and receive love. But what does the scientific evidence say about this theory? Let’s take a closer look.

The science is lacking

Although the term “love” is widely used, its definition in the context of romantic relationships remains elusive, as it encompasses various factors that are expressed and experienced in diverse ways.

The concept of love languages has gained popularity, yet it was established based on observations rather than thorough research. Furthermore, the available scientific evidence is limited and fails to demonstrate that people naturally tend to express and receive love in one of the five ways proposed by the model, or how these love languages affect relationships.

Therefore, any test claiming to determine an individual’s love language lacks credibility as a scientifically valid assessment tool. Nevertheless, people remain fascinated with discovering their own and others’ love languages.

Love languages and compatibility

Compatibility in relationships is essential. Couples who are similar, instead of opposites, often tend to be more attracted to each other and have more lasting relationships.

Chapman proposes that when relationship partners have different love languages, it can cause misunderstandings. An example would be if one partner enjoys holding hands (physical touch) and the other does not, or if one partner likes getting compliments (words of affirmation) and the other doesn’t provide them.

Also, Chapman has proposed that couples that “talk” the same love language should have a better relationship. However, the research on this needs to be more clear.

A research study published in 2017 failed to find that partners sharing the same love language was associated with increased levels of relationship contentment. However, a 2022 study discovered that when partners shared the same love language, they reported greater levels of both relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction.

Discovering your partner’s love language

Chapman suggests that understanding a partner’s love language can improve communication and reduce misunderstandings in relationships where the love languages do not match.

He contends that if a person can identify and act on their partner’s love language, this will lead to greater relationship satisfaction.

Valentine’s Day provides an opportunity to reflect on your partner’s love language and how you can use it to celebrate the occasion. For example, if they prefer words of affirmation, you should carefully consider what you write in their card.

If their love language is acts of service, you could prepare their favorite meal.

The lack of scientific evidence supporting this theory may be less important than the value of demonstrating love to your partner in a thoughtful way.

Read the original article on PHYS.

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